1. People who point at their wrist
while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where
the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the
bathroom is?
2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy
considering he has no dick.
3. People who are willing to get off their
ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because
they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
4. When people say "Oh you just want
to have your cake and eat it too." Fuck off. What good is
a goddamn cake you can't eat?
5. When people say "It's always in
the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the
fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they?
6. When people say, while watching a movie
"Did you see that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50
to come to the theatre and stare at frikken ceiling up there.
7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey
from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't".
Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're
blind for God's sake!
8. People who ask "Can I ask you a
question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there
buddy?
9. When something is "new and improved",
which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything
before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have
been something before it.
10. When a cop pulls you over and then
asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know asshole
you fucking pulled me over!
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